The first song to come to mind, and which will kickoff my business development blog, is: "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones. As you read this post, I wonder what that song makes you feel.
For me - there is begrudging acknowledgement, as Mick winds his way around that title line -- oh man, yeah, you CAN'T always get what you want, but -- okay -- you can get what you NEED. There's some grit in his voice, there's the repetition of the line "you can't always get what you want" -- which seems to underscore the pain. Of longing, of not receiving, of missing out, of rejection. Each time he says it, it's like he's suffering with you but telling it to you straight, his voice edgy and craggily but breaking the truth to you, over and over, until you have no choice but to accept it. Because you absolutely know that, yes, in life, you really can't always get what you want.
But then, there is hope. There is reality mixed with hope. He saves you, as he sings: "But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need." Hope! But he's also telling you straight up that it's the result of both effort and perspective. You have to try, and you have to be able to see the difference between what you want and what you need. That may take a longer view.
This song makes me think of one of my fundamental rules of BD that lawyers who have worked with me have heard a lot. "A 'no' from a client or prospect often means 'not now'." So -- Stay with them and the relationship. Don't walk away angry or feeling hurt because they didn't choose you at that particular moment. Find out why your offering didn't meet their needs at this time. Engage and ask. Figure out how to serve them better. Keep them on your radar and approach them at a future time, with intelligence and perhaps some new useful information, to see if their needs have changed or if you can be considered again. Stay calm, keep the relationship alive and positive, see where it leads. Often, it can lead to work.
So - you really can't always get what you want in BD, but if you try sometimes (judiciously, positively, unselfishly), you just might find that you (ultimately) get what you need.